Ohh oh domino

I’ve had a few really great conversations with a friend of mine about life and connection and hidden gems of history. We nerded out and I told him my theory (rather a very old theory or story that I subscribe to) of the domino effect; that the story is written from the end to the beginning.

From Ancient Greece to East Asia, to the sailing nations of British and Nordic countries, the “red thread” that links people and weaves destiny is passed down from generation to generation. I see that story in reverse. That the experiences we have are “pre-destined” and it’s when we try to fight against our destiny that we get tied up. I have to add that I do not believe all things are destined, I think that there is a general structure that we follow like a GenX pick an adventure book, you get to choose and it will bring you to different places but ultimately you will end up where you’re supposed to be.

Now I know this will cause some controversy, because “why would bad things happen”. If you’ve been here for any amount of time, you know I don’t think of things as good or bad. I think things just... are. There’s nothing fun about some situations. I’ve lost two best friends to cancer, watched other people battle diseases and addictions, I’ve gone through my own dark night of the soul (twice actually). This is why I feel so sure about my stance. If I lived a basically good life, that didn’t have much strife or problems I wouldn’t have the empathy and drive that I do to help others. I wouldn’t be me. For the friends that passed, I think that they had really hard lives and their love and kindness left an indelible mark on people who knew them that carries on and makes them, in a way, immortal.

Does this belief make the loss of those people ok? Yes and no, the thing is that it doesn’t have to either, that’s not the purpose. The purpose is to help me make sense of things. It still hurts, I’m still sad at times that I can’t call them, but I lean into the work to uplift them and help others. When I perform end-of-life services, I remind people that the pain you are feeling is the legacy of a good life lived. And by keeping them in your heart you keep their legacy alive.

There it is, the domino effect. Sometimes things have to get destroyed to be rebuilt. Sad, true. Necessary? Absolutely.